Ya might be a Yankee if..
To be read ONLY by those with a sense of humor! It's a
joke son!
- Ya really think the terms "sugar", "sweetie", "darlin" , "dear", "sweetheart" & "honey" are sexist.
- You think a "Goo Goo Cluster" is a group of babies.
- You've never had an RC cola.
- You think ya`ll really won the war.
- Ya'll pronounce Oil correctly. But WE rednecks pronounce it .....EARL.
- Ya think the term "Ma'am" refers only to older females.
- Ya think the notion of "manners" is quaint.
- Ya think barbecue is a verb meanin' "to cook outside."
- Ya think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY.
- Ya put Ketchup in your CHILI (GET THE ROPE!!) *My Father does this....*
- Ya don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
- For breakfast, ya prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.
- Ya don't EVEN know what a moon pie is.
- Ya aint NEVER had grain alcohol.
- Ya ain't NEVER eaten okra.
- Ya eat yer fried chicken with a knife and fork.
- You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
- Ya got no idea what a polecat is.
- Ya think gun racks should be "options" rather than "standard."
- Whenever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, it goes right over yer head.
- Ya don't see nuttin' wrong with puttin a sweater on a poodle.
- Ya don't see nuttin' wrong with owning a poodle.
- Ya don't have bangs.
- Ya'd rather vacation oer at Martha's Vineyard than at Six Flags.
- Ya'd rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
- Ya think smokin's bad for yer health.
- Instead of referrin to two or more people as "y'all," ya call em "you guys," even if both of em are women.
- Ya don't talk to the strangers at adjoining tables at restaurants.
- Ya don't think Howard Stern has an accent.
- Ya aint never planned yer summer vacation around a gun-and-knife show.
- Ya think more money should go to important scientific research at yer university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
- Ya don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
- Ya dont EVEN know what WD-40 is.
- Ya think a party is a failure if people get drunk and break things.
- Ya think that work is more important than fun.
- Ya think that "Dutch treat" is a good idea.
- The last time ya smiled was when ya kept someone from gettin on the on-ramp on the highway.
- Ya think "the law" is objective.
- Ya don't have any hats in yer closet that advertise feed stores.
- The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.
- Everyone ya know finished high school.
- Ya call yer binoculars opera glasses.
- Ya cain't spit out the car winder without pulling oer to the side of the road an stoppin.
- Ya would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.
- Ya don't know what applique is.
- Ya don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob, Jim Bob, Bob Bob)
- Ya don't have doilies, and ya shore as hell don't know how to make one.
- Ya aint never been to a craft show.
- Ya get freaked out when people on the bus talk to ya.
- You`ve never listened to the "Grand Ole` Opry".
- Ya cain't do your laundry without quarters.
- Aint none of yer fur coats been homemade.
- Ya don't know kudzu from kung fu.
- Ya enjoy living in filth.
- The only kind of grass you've seen is the kind you smoke.
- Ya prefer Bruce Springsteen to Bocephus.
- Ya talk real fast and charm real slow.
- Ya think smog is a sky color.
- Ya think all cars are yellow and have a light on top.
- Yer momma spends more time in hockey locker rooms than your father's bedroom.
- Ya think okra is a talk show host.
- Ya kin be surrounded by crime and "didn't see a thing!!"
- Ya didn't know chickens layed eggs and cows produced milk.
- Ya waste large amounts of money on a date, when all you had to do was ask.
- You think Gary Shandling is funny.
- Y'all think K.F.C. is real southern eatin'
- You think chocolate milk comes from cows who stand in the shade.
- You never watch the "Beverly Hillbillies".
- Ya think Gomer Pyle is stupid tv program.
- Ya ain't never watched classic Tv programs like "The Dukes of Hazard"
- You prefer re-runs of Seinfeld over Andy Griffith. (Ya freak!)
- Ya think Skoal is a form of punishment.
- You think they sell fleas at a "Flea Market".
- You think God`s middle name is "dammit".
- You don`t own a pick-up truck.
- You`ve never eaten squirrel or rabbit.
- You think Dolly Parton is a star cause she can act.
- Ya put damn tartar sauce on your french fries.
- You've never been to a "Monster Truck" show.
- Ya put ketchup in yer chili cuz ya think its too spicy.
