Ya Might Be A Beer Bytch!

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... at a Texas music concert you stockpile your beer so you don't miss the show.  The beer may get hot and yucky but you don't miss the show.  Of course a True Beer Bytch never lets her beer get hot in the first damn place!

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... ya can crush a beer can in your flip flops and not blow them out.

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... Ya buy "cheaper" TP to afford MORE beer (the GOOD SHIT!)

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... You're a Senior Citizen and STILL love your beer!  Bonus points if you own a Beer Bytch T-shirt and wear it proudly.  (BB salute of approval goes out to Mrs. Edna S. 77, of Forth Worth TX,  who does BOTH.)

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... Your first drunk was on beer and not Boones Farm.

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... You live by the rule "There are 2 kinds of beer.  Cold Beer and Free Beer.  Free Beer doesn't necessarily have to be COLD Beer." (Salute to Cap'n Jack for that one!)

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... You Burrrrrp and it sounds like a demonic growl that even hound dawgs back down from ya!

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... You Burrrrrp and it causes the Richter Scale to register a level "8" earthquake in a third world country.

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... Your significant other has battle scars on his beer reachin arm for goin after the last beer.

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... one of the scales used to judge your next boyfriend is the type of beer he drinks.

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... They begin to worry about you at the Liquor store if you bring another brand of beer to the check-out different from your "usual."

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... They get worried about you at the Liquor Store because they haven't seen ya in a while!

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... you worry about the open container law.

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... you have more than 5 autographs from Texas Musicians on your cowboy hat.

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... your "steppin out" cowboy hat is covered in hat tacks and flashing objects!

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... you scrape the couch cushions to have enough money to buy a 40 oz!

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... it overjoys you to see good beer (Guinness) in a pint bottle at the grocery store.

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... a cast on ANY limb doesn't stop you from hobbling to the trash to deposit your empty so you can get more!

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... you tell him it's not gonna go anywhere, but you keep everything he buys you, but you finish your beer (the one he bought you) before you tell him so.

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... You count the date a good one after you had to pay for the dinner, and buy the beer, but he threw up and passed out before the concert even started! (of course you have his car keys!)

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... You hide the "good beer" for yourself & pawn off the cheap shit on your guests!

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if... You keep your beer in the vegetable bin in the refrigerator, and no matter where you are in the house you can hear it open, and ya come a runnin to see WHO's in your beer! *This was my Mimi thru and thru!*

• Ya might be a Beer Bytch if you see a truck, car or RV with a Texas Music bumper sticker on it and you consider them a friend!  More Beer Bytch points if you speed up and wave at them or honk and wave!

Send me your "Ya Might Be A Beer Bytch" quotes!

©2005 Beer Bytch Biz