- May 30th
Just moved to Texas. Now this is a state that really knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended
together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket.
It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
- June 14th
Really heating up. Got up to 100 degrees today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.
- June 30th
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cacti and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
- July 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 100 degrees all week. How do people get
used to it? It is taking me longer than I expected.
- July 15th
Fell asleep by the pool and got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed
two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got
to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
- July 20th
I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By
the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen up to the
size of a shopping bag and exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather
upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles
and shit. No more pets in this heat!
- July 25th
Dry heat, my ass. Hot is hot!! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and
the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to
order parts.
- July 30th
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,500 a month in
damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
- Aug 4th
115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and
gets the temperature down to about 90. I REALLY hate this state!
- Aug 8th
If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for ya today, Yankee?" I'm
going to tear his throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the
radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like
Roasted Tabby!!
- Aug 10th
The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and sunny. It's
been too hot for two damn months and the weatherman says it might really
warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren damn desert?!?!
- Aug 12th
Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700 worth of cacti just
dried up and blew into the F****** pool. Even a cactus can't live in this
heat.
- Aug 14th
YEE-HAW And Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got up to 123 degrees today.
Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the Lincoln. The
installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My
wife had to spend the $1,500 monthly house payment to bail me out of jail.
- Aug 30th
Worst damn day of the summer. I'm not leaving the house. The monsoon rains
finally came and all they did was make it muggier than hell. The Lincoln is
now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500 windshield. That does it,
we're moving to Illinois for some peace and quiet!!!
