Yer Starship Captain Might Be A Redneck If...

• Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month.
• He paints flames and places an NRA sticker on the warp nacelles.
• You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob."
• He refers to any intelligent alien race as "critters."
• He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns."
• He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coat hanger and aluminum foil.
• He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section.
• He says, "Got your ears on, good buddy?" instead of "Open hailing frequencies."
• He hangs fuzzy dice over the view screen.
• He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle.
• He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it.
• He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage."
• He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser.
• He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba."
• He sets the fore view screen to reruns of "Bassmaster."
• He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs and turnip greens.
• He paints the starship John Deere green.
• He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special."
• He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp."
• His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale.
• He sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen."
• His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls.
• He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge.
• His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies.
• He sets phaser to "Cajun."
• He has ever ordered the Chief Engineer to dig out the jumper cables.
• The warp reactor is coated in duct tape and Bond-O.
• He orders the Sickbay to carry castor oil and turpentine.
• He lights his cigarettes with his laser pistol.
• He keeps livestock in the cargo bay.
• The ship, all the shuttlecraft, and the ship's mascot are all named after Confederate war heroes.