Collards are green, my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flappin in the breeze. Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan. Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth for which I am proud. I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms, well, I'm in hawg heaven and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man, to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.  Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.  When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, my life is complete. Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin' despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.  Me "n" you's like a moon pie with a RC cold drank, we go together like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for a Valentine's Day, they git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.  Some men git roses on that special day for the cooler at Krogers, that's impressive, I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth. "Diamonds are forever", they explain, suave and couth.  But for this man, honey, these won't do. Cause yo're too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, more useful than diamonds.... 

IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!!

A hillbilly man and his new bride were on their honeymoon. The husband jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready.

The wife comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says "Honey, I have something to tell you. I'm a virgin."

The man grabs his clothes and rushes out of the house yelling at the top of his lungs.  He heads straight up the road to his fathers house.  When he gets there, his father says, "Son, what are you doing here?  You're supposed to be on your honeymoon."

The son says, "Dad, my new wife told me a big secret of hers.  She's a virgin."

"Damn son.  You did the right thing by leaving, cause if she wasn't good enough for her family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for ours!"