Thought I'd share my affliction after coming back from a GREAT music festival!

 Public Service Announcement:

First and foremost, such music has been shown to cause excessive liver damage.  Those who enjoy this type of music are 75% more likely than fans of N'Sync to drink cold beer in smoky bars until the bar staff forcibly removes said music fans from said drinking establishment.  The fact that no one over legal drinking age actually listens to N'Sync is seemingly unrelated.

Secondly, such music causes tire balding and other related vehicular damage.  Aficionados are so fanatical that they arrive in insect-like swarms to any venue within a days drive to see their favorite artists and imbibe the aforementioned cold beer.  Finally, and most devastatingly, OKOM is the leading cause of lowered productivity in the workplace.  Usually seen with bags under their eyes and some sort of fur on their teeth, listeners are known to sit in front of their computer screens for hours staring at emails from various e-groups and nursing serious hangovers.  

Friends and co-workers are strongly cautioned to stay away as these people are usually quite surly and occasionally forgone the traditional morning shower in favor of that extra 15 minutes of sleep.  Should you need to talk to them, however, it is best to approach with caution, bearing gifts of ice water and Advil, and speak slowly and clearly (the ringing in their ears may not yet be gone) and use small words until they have had sufficient recovery time.

The Sturgeon General's office reports that 100% of  people with musical taste are currently suffering from HOKOMLS (Habitual OKOM Listener's Syndrome) and currently there is no known cure.

For more information, contact the SG's office at: 1-800-4CC-RJBS or www.lonestarmusic.com.  Callers should be forewarned, however, that the SG really has nothing more to say on this matter as he is just a fish.

Source: Robyn Powell from the LJT E-mail group

©2002 Beer Bytch Biz