You know you live in a small town when...

  • It has an aquarium -- stocked with  live minnows.

  • The town newspaper is published monthly.

  • The town is named after EVERYONE'S distant relative.

  • It was founded on April Fools' Day as a practical joke.

  • The Ice Cream store has only two flavors, chocolate and vanilla. 

  • There's no hospital -- only a first aid kit.

  • For fun on Saturday nights, people drive up and down main street. 

  • There's no bank... as soon as someone gets enough money, they leave.

  • The only traffic jam's are caused when a farmer drives down Main Street on his combine.

  • The local phone book has only one yellow page.

  • Hardware, Dry Goods, Grocery, Clothing and farm supplies are all sold at the same store.

  • Third Street is on the edge of town.

  • You don't signal turns because everyone knows where you're going, anyway.

  • No social events are scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.

  • You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.

  • Everyone knows all the news before it's published.

  • People read the paper to see whether the publisher got the facts right. 

  • The city limits signs are both on the same post.

  • McDonalds only has one Golden Arch.

  • The 7-11 is only open from 8 - 5.

  • The only road crossing Main Street is a dirt road.

  • The New Year's baby was born in October.

  • The one-block-long Main Street dead ends in both directions.

  • There's no place to go that you shouldn't.

  • A "Night on the Town" takes only 11 minutes.

  • At the last beauty contest, nobody won 2nd or 3rd.

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