These are things that will either get ya either divorced or killed in Texas.  Remember, the "He needed killin" defense is valid here!

• Drinkin the last beer

• Stealin the truck

• Stealin the horse

• Turning yer dawg against ya

• Smokin the last cig

• Throwing out your favorite pair of boots

• Takin the last pinch of Cope.

A Texas Divorce

Storming into his lawyer's office, a Texas oil magnate demanded that divorce proceedings begin at once against his young bride.

"What's the problem?"

"I want to sue that adulterin' bitch for breach of contract," snapped the oil man.

"I don't think that will fly," said the lawyer. "I mean your wife isn't a piece of property; you don't own her!"

"You're Damn Right," the tycoon rejoined, "but I sure as hell expect exclusive drillin' rights!

A Texas Redneck Divorce

Redneck Marriage: Get in the truck, Bitch!

Redneck Divorce: Get out of the truck, Bitch!