It's The "Better'n Sex" Page!

TOP 10 REASONS WHY FISHING IS BETTER'N SEX...

10. IT LASTS FROM DAWN TILL DUSK.

9. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SECRET HOLE.

8. YOU ARE ALLOWED SEVERAL FISH DAILY.

7. YOU CAN CHOOSE THE LENGTH OF YOUR ROD.

6. YOU CAN FISH ANY TIME OF THE MONTH.

5. YOU CLEAN IT BEFORE YOU EAT IT.

4. YOU ARE ABLE TO TAKE A NAP WHILE YOU FISH.

3. THE COST OF BAIT IS CHEAPER THAN A DATE. *MOST DATES, THAT IS*

2. YOU CAN ALWAYS THROW IT BACK.

1. YOUR FAVORITE CATCH CAN BE MOUNTED ON THE WALL!

TOP 10 REASONS WHY HUNTING IS BETTER'N SEX...

10. ONCE YOU SHOOT YOUR WAD, ITS QUICK TO RELOAD.

9. YOU CAN PICK THE SIZE OF YOUR GUN.

8. ONCE YOU TAG IT, NO ONE ELSE CAN TOUCH IT.

7. YOU CAN TELL ITS LEGAL BY THE SIZE OF THE RACK.

6. YOU CLEAN THE MEAT BEFORE YOU EAT IT.

5. LASTS SUNRISE TO SUNDOWN.

4. YOUR GUN WONT GO LIMP ON YOU.

3. IF YOU BAG A BIG ONE, YOU CAN TELL YOUR FRIENDS.

2. YOU CAN ALWAYS FIND GOOD BUSH.

1. YOUR FAVORITE PIECE CAN BE MOUNTED ON YOUR WALL.

TOP 10 REASONS WHY RODEO IS BETTER'N SEX...

10. IT IS NOT CONSIDERED KINKY TO GET TIED UP.

9. YOU ALWAYS HAVE ONE HAND FREE.

8. IF YOU ARE GOOD, YOU JOIN THE CIRCUIT.

7. GOAL IS TO GET JOB DONE IN LEAST AMOUNT OF TIME.

6. THERE ARE CLOWNS TO DRAW ATTENTION AWAY FROM YOU.

5. BEST PERFORMANCE CAN WIN A PICKUP TRUCK.

4. YOU ONLY HAVE TO HOLD ON FOR 8 SECONDS.

3. IT IS A LEGAL PROFESSION.

2. YOU ARE GUARANTEED TO GET "BUCKED BACK."

1. YOU CAN STRAP ON A SADDLE OR RIDE BAREBACK.

Texas Foreplay

"Get in the truck, bitch!" (incidentally, a Redneck divorce is opposite of this and consists of yellin "Git outta the truck, Bitch!")

"Suck or walk!"

"Bend over darlin' and I'll drive you to Dallas!"

"Let's go to the lake and watch the submarine races."

"Wanna beer?"

"There's a great movie on at the drive-in."

Texan Sick Sayins

Fugly - F***in' Ugly (Rumor has it that this has it's roots in Dallas)

Coyote Ugly - Where you wake up after a particularly wild Saturday night, look over and see what's sleeping next to you, then decide it's better to gnaw your arm off then pull it out and risk waking her/him up.

ADULT HORSERACE...

Lineup:

1.   Passionate Lady
2.   Bare Belly
3.   Silk Panties
4.   Conscience
5.   Jockey Shorts
6.   Clean Sheets
7.   Thighs
8.   Big Dick
9.   Heavy Bosom
10. Merry cherry

AND THEY'RE OFF!!!
Conscience is left behind at the gate.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is in a dangerous spot.

AT THE HALF MILE POLE:
It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is pressed in.
Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.

AT THE STRETCH:
Merry Cherry cracks under the strain.
Big Dick is making a final drive.
Bare Belly is in and Passionate Lady is coming.

AT THE FINISH:
It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Dick has to offer.
It looks like a dead heat but Big Dick comes through with one final thrust and wins by a head...
Bare Belly shows...
Thighs weakens...
Heavy Bosom pulls up...
& Clean Sheets never had a chance.

THE RODEO POSITION...

Two guys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions. The first guy says his favorite position is the "rodeo." The other guy asks what the position is, and how to do it.

The first guy says, "You tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy style. Once things start to get underway and she's really enjoying it, lean forward and whisper in her ear - "Your sister likes this position too" and then try to hang on for 8 seconds."